


Sunflowers

by dancewithmelancholy



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Centipede Kaneki Ken, F/F, Falling In Love, Ghoul Cannibalism (Tokyo Ghoul), Hide is pregnant and kaneki is so in love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mpreg, Possessive Behavior, Pregnant Sex, Protective Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Psychological Trauma, Stalker kaneki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:00:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22145302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancewithmelancholy/pseuds/dancewithmelancholy
Summary: “Sorry,” the man grins, sheepish, “Are you guys closed?”The answer is yes. But Kaneki is suddenly looking at the the most beautiful human he's ever seen, and as soon as he lays eyes on him he forgets how to breathe properly. The man is giving him a soft smile that sets Kaneki's heart racing.Or, Kaneki meets Hide and kind of loses his mind. But only a little bit.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi, Kirishima Touka/Kosaka Yoriko
Comments: 103
Kudos: 343





	1. Chapter 1

The sky is dark and Anteiku has been closed for ten whole minutes before the door opens while Kaneki is cleaning the counter. The bell over the door jingles and he looks up, expecting to see Yomo or even Tsukiyama. He's the only one there, previously scheduled engagements taking his friends and coworkers from the building earlier than usual, leaving him to wipe down the counters and lock up.

This happened sometimes, and Kaneki didn't mind it at all. He liked having the calm of Anteiku all to himself. He seemed to still be a loner at his core, even after all this time. He liked the quiet, and the smell of coffee. Sometimes he liked to have a cup all by himself and soak up the silence before he went home. 

The bell over the entrance jingles and Kaneki looks toward it, surprised.

“Sorry,” the man grins, sheepish, “Are you guys closed?”

The answer is yes. But Kaneki is suddenly looking at the the most beautiful human he's ever seen, and as soon as he lays eyes on him he forgets how to breathe properly. The man is giving him a soft smile that sets Kaneki's heart to racing, and his shoulder length blond hair is tied into a messy low bun. He wears a yellow track jacket and his eyes are so unbelievably brown--

Kaneki is suddenly thankful he's the only one here, because he's sure if anyone saw how he scrambles to turn the stoves back on he's sure he'd never live it down.

Can anyone blame him though?

“No.” Kaneki says quickly, throwing the rag he's using to clean the counter aside. 

The man steps inside and Kaneki's heart flips at the smile he gives Kaneki. It's so bright. So warm. Everything Kaneki is not, in his own opinion. 

The man is quite obviously pregnant, his jacket doing a poor job of hiding that, though Kaneki can tell it's a half-hearted attempt at best. The possibility of the man being taken didn't even cross him, but Kaneki pushes the thoughts out of his head, holding on to hope. Granted, he did only see the guy a few seconds ago, so he shouldn't jump to conclusions. 

The man still looks somewhat unsure, but Kaneki smiles at him and the blond takes a seat at the counter. Kaneki, of course, blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Uh, congratulations.” he offers, gesturing to the blond's stomach.

The man smiles at him, looking up at him. The lighting makes his hair look even shinier, and Kaneki already knows--

He's lost.

The man chuckles, “Thanks. Is it that obvious now?”

“Hm?”

“Am I that huge already?”

"Oh, n-no! I just...noticed." Kaneki stammers. Hide gives him an amused look.

"So that's a yes." he chuckles brightly, "It's fine."

Kaneki blushes, "What can I get you?"

"I've been dying for one of the chai teas here all day. And a sandwich." Hide tells him, settling at the counter, "And uh--are you sure you guys are still open? I don't wanna put you out of your way if you're closing--".

Kaneki nods, "Trust me, it's fine. You're the last customer. I'll get right on that for you." Kaneki smiles, hoping that Hide doesn't notice how his heart has started pounding in his chest. Or that yes, they are closed, but this blond is gorgeous and Kaneki is weak. 

Hide thanks him and Kaneki starts on his order while the blond looks around, "I think this is the latest I've been here. It's different when it's empty."

"Yeah, I like it like this, though. It's quiet." Kaneki says.

"Yeah, it's nice." 

Hide is quiet for a moment, just staring out the window to the side. The human has his elbows on the counter and leans his face on his hand, eyes thoughtful. Kaneki tries to come up with something to say. Hide talks first. 

"So what's your name? I'm Hide." he grins. 

The ghoul tells him. 

"Kaneki, huh?" Hide smirks.

And Kaneki knows he's in _trouble_.

°°°°°°°

He can't stop thinking about Hide. That night he watches him leave, hand still tingling from the friendly handshake he'd given him and his brain just repeating his name over and _over_.

Kaneki closes the store and goes home, deep in thought, wondering about the other man. What's his middle name? What's his favorite color? What does he like to do? Kaneki finds himself curious about the man in a way he hasn't been curious about anything in a long time.

He wonders whose baby it is, and if Hide is still with them.

Kaneki wonders why Hide looked so _tired_.

°°°°°°°°

Hide starts coming by more often, and Kaneki is relieved. He was afraid he wouldn't see the man again, and Kaneki finds that he needn't have worried. Hide always seems to be closeby, and he comes to Anteiku for lunch and dinner often. Granted Kaneki doesn't get to see him long at first, seeing as when Hide drops by Kaneki is technically at work, though he lingers by Hide's table for conversation almost every day. He knows Yashimura notices, the older man just looks on with amusement and doesn't say anything.

They chat as Hide orders, and Kaneki learns that Hide's putting together a nursery. Hide learns that Kaneki has a love for psychological horror books. 

°°°°°°°

Touka raises an eyebrow, "What? You in a rush? Not having lunch with us today?"

Hide chuckles, “Sorry, I have so much cleaning to do, and the nursery needs to be set up, so I can't stay long. I have to meet up for lunch with someone too. The other place just doesn't make tea well as you guys do, so I'm stopping here first.”

"You better show me pictures of the nursery when it's done. And hell yeah we make the best tea." Touka smirks, completely serious, "So what kind will it be today, blondie?"

Hide snickers at the nickname, "Matcha, please."

"Should you be drinking that?" she asks suspiciously, glancing between his stomach and Hide's face, "Maybe some herb tea instead..."

"I know what I can eat and drink and what I can't!" Hide says, defensive.

"Yeah, but..." Touka squints at him, more suspicious, " _Caffeine_..."

Hide throws his hands up in fake, exaggerated exasperation, "Fine, mom. Pick whichever tea _you_ think I'll like."

Touka nods, "Better."

Hide grumbles. Kaneki watches them blankly, having checked out of the conversation after Hide spoke the first time.

Hide's meeting up with someone for lunch. A _date_ ? With _who?_ _Where_? Since _when_? 

Kaneki feels his face go hot in jealousy, but he bites it down before Hide can see the dark look on his face as Touka has her fill of teasing him and goes off to make his tea. Kaneki realizes his break started about three minutes ago, and he asks Hide if he can sit with him. The man agrees with no hesitance, which makes Kaneki feel a little better. That, and the smile Hide shoots him.

“So uh, your husband or girlfriend or whatever--” he starts, hoping he doesn't sound like the insecure, jealous wreck he feels he is.

Hide laughs, “I'm single, Kaneki.”

Kaneki nearly breaks his neck with how quickly his neck snaps so he can look at the blond in alarm and shock.

Dark eyes glance down at Hide's slightly rounded stomach and back up at the human's face.

Hide's alone? How? There's no one looking out for him, even with how dangerous this ward is? It's twisted, how happy he is Hide is single but how angry he is that no one seems to be keeping tabs on Hide at all, especially with all these ghouls running around. Kaneki can only control them so well. 

How could someone like Hide possibly be single anyway? The man was like literal sunlight.

Kaneki doesn't notice that Hide has gone red in embarrassment until the blond speaks again, pulling Kaneki out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Hide sighs quietly, a hand on his middle and his eyes on the tiled floor, “Irresponsible, or whatever.”

Kaneki stammers, “No, that's not what I meant at all--I'm just surprised. This ward is dangerous, and with the pregnancy...don't you need someone to help you?”

Hide shrugs, that smile back his face, “I get by on my own. It's cool.”

Kaneki’s brows furrow, not exactly satisfied with that answer. He then idly wonders where the subconscious internal need to wrap himself around Hide and protect him came from. Kaneki decides almost immediately not to fight it.

Kaneki already knows that he's going to help Hide, he just hopes the other man doesn't take offense.

Hide is bright and brilliant and Kaneki finds himself thinking about the human so often that even his friends have begun to notice how spacey he's been.

He zones out during his shifts and he merely grunts--deep in thought--when they try to speak to him, his thoughts with Hide and wondering what he's doing. He hopes he's taking it easy. Kaneki has the feeling Hide is one of those people who tries to do too much.

It's worse when Hide comes to the shop. He smiles at Kaneki and they chat--Kaneki ignoring other customers--before Kaneki takes Hide's order (and maybe he always puts Hide's order before anyone else's whether they ordered before the blond did or not, but sue him, Hide's pregnant and needs to eat and that's just common sense) and requests to take his break so he can sit with him.

Conversation with Hide is easy. It doesn't escape Kaneki how easy to talk to Hide is. The blond's presence is just one of bright understanding, and Kaneki finds himself in awe of how preceptive Hide is. The man picks Kaneki apart over the course of every conversation and Kaneki is helpless to resist. Usually he would avoid anyone who was on this level of intelligence, as it was dangerous for him to surround himself with such people for many reasons, especially a human. No ghoul wants an exceptionally smart human lurking around them, that always spelled trouble. 

But it's not like Kaneki even considers leaving Hide alone to be an option, so he supposes he'll have to deal with it. He dawdles a bit, watching Hide sip his tea while they talk, and Kaneki knows his break is over and that he has to get back to work, but it's Hide, and who knows when he'll come back?

It's not like Kaneki has his cell phone number or anything. He supposes he'll give it a little more time and then he'll ask for it. If he does it now there's a chance that Hide could get freaked out and pull back, and that's the last thing Kaneki wants. So he decides to be patient.

It's difficult though, when Kaneki can only think about how amazing Hide smells and how pretty he is. Kaneki talks himself out of following Hide one day, scolding himself.

That'd be _creepy._ Right?

In the end it's Touka who pops up by the table he and Hide are sitting at and smirks, "Your break's been done for ten minutes. Back to work, slacker."

Kaneki sputters and Hide chuckles. Touka winks at the human before she gives Kaneki a stern look and walks off. The ghoul grumbles.

Kaneki sighs and stands.

"Bye, slacker." Hide smiles, bright.

Kaneki feels his face go red as he stammers out a goodbye. Hide leaves a few minutes later, and Kaneki pauses pouring hot water to watch him go.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaneki starts shadowing Hide when he's not working. He's been dreading days off because that means he won't be at the shop and he won't see Hide. The first day he has free since meeting Hide is spent staring at his wall--his book in his hands, forgotten--wondering what Hide could be doing in the moment.

The second day he has free he finds that he can't stay away. He's driving himself insane. He finds Hide and starts following him.

He's not stalking him, he just...knows how dangerous these streets are and Kaneki is just...protective. Hide would stand no chance if he came across a hungry ghoul.

He'll have to have Tsukiyama relay the message. The new One Eyed King has his eye on this human. Don't touch him unless you want to be torn in half.

He wonders where Shuu is. Banjou too. Kaneki has been trying to figure out where he wants his life to go since he came back to Anteiku. He needed to get away, and he needed to cool down a bit, but he didn't count on running into Hide and wanting to be in the blonds orbit so  _ badly _ .

Kaneki is also willing to admit to himself that he's a bit curious. More than a bit, actually. he wants to know who Hide is, and Kaneki finds himself following him, all hesitance out the window.

Hide stops at a convenience store first, and Kaneki smiles to himself as he watches Hide purchase some frosted animal crackers. Kaneki makes a note to remember that Hide likes those. Kaneki will get him some. 

See? This  _ is _ proving to be a good idea already. Maybe a bit morally ambigous, but he gets to learn so much about Hide and that's priceless, isn't it?

Hide meets up with a sharp looking blond woman dressed in corprate clothing, and her formerly stoic face melts in affection when she catches sight of him, wrapping him in a warm embrace and placing a hand on his stomach, saying something to him while Hide beams at her. Kaneki ignores the worms of jealousy that burrow under his skin.

He wonders who this woman is. They couldn't be related. Sure they're both blond but Hide is warm, all brown eyes and warm honey-yellow hair. This woman was pale blonde and blue-eyed. She looked cold. 

Though maybe  _ everyone _ looked cold in comparision to Hide.

They go to lunch. The woman pays (though Hide protests) and urges Hide to eat as much as possible, stating health facts about pregnancy and weight while Hide groans. All in all Kaneki deems the woman okay. She fusses over Hide in her way and he sees no problem with that.  _ Yet _ , anyway. He makes a note to keep an eye on her though.

(He also finds himself thankful that their relationship seems to be more younger brother and older sister, and not romantic by any means, which makes Kaneki pretty open to allowing Hide to continue seeing her. She seems safe.)

After that she insists on calling Hide a cab, and Kaneki tails him still, the sky going dark and allowing him to retreat to the rooftops to follow.

Hide lives in the 20th ward, just as Kaneki suspected, in a little apartment not too far from Anteiku. Kaneki watches him safely enter his apartment before he settles on a nearby roof that gives him a view inside Hide's windows while staying hidden, and watches.

Hide rustles around the kitchen first, taking some pills and washing them down with water. Then the human's shoulders sag and he wanders over to a bright blue couch and collapses on it, breathing heavy, clearly worn out. Kaneki frowns, Hide is so tired. If he had more help he wouldn't be.

He needs to not push Kaneki away. He needs him, and even more than that, Kaneki wants to help. He just needs to get close without setting off any alarms. Hide doesn't move for a while, and Kaneki considers maybe picking the lock and helping him somehow, but he decides against it. That wouldn't make Hide trust him. The opposite probably. 

Hide dozes for a bit before he forces himself to stand and head to the bathroom. Kaneki can't see inside (and the disappointment and frustration he feels should fill him with shame, but it doesn't) but when the door opens and steam comes billowing out he can assume Hide took a shower.

Hide gets out the shower, steps into his bedroom and drops his towel.

Kaneki almost falls off the roof. 

He quickly rights himself and settles his gaze on Hide's heat-pinkened skin, still obviously damp. Dark eyes sweep over thighs and ass, Hide's chest and back. 

Fuck.

Fuck.

Now Kaneki is sitting on a roof in the dark with a raging hard on and his breathing ragged like some kind of pervert but god--Hide. He hadn't been expecting that but he definitely wasn't about to complain, and definitely not even when Hide puts on a oversized t-shirt and nothing else, opting to go to bed like that.

The lights go out and Kaneki sits on that roof for two more hours, just looking at the darkened window. He doesn't want to leave, and he entertains some absurd thoughts of jimmying the lock on the window open and creeping in silently to watch over him. He could be so quiet Hide would never know anyone was there. Kaneki was good at that.

He thinks himself out of it though. That's creepy. He shouldn't.

The thought stays at the back of his mind though.

°°°°°°°

A few days later Hide wanders in again not too far from closing time and Kaneki's shift ends as Hide is paying for his order and chatting with Touka and Koma. The sky has gone dark and Kaneki hangs up his apron, rushing to catch Hide before he leaves.

"Hide, it's late." Kaneki says, "Let me walk you home?"

The blond looks suprised, but not displeased, "You don't have to do that, I don't want you to go out of your way, man--"

"N-no! It's fine, I promise." Kaneki insists with a smile, "I just...it would make me feel better if I knew you got back okay, especially so late."

"Oh, well, okay. Thanks." Hide smiles, pleased but still surprised.

"Don't mention it. Let me just get my bag." Kaneki says, rushing off towards the employee only area in the back.

"Well, now you're never getting rid of him." Touka says to Hide, raising an eyebrow.

"That's fine, but why does he like me so much?" Hide chuckles. 

"I can see why." she shrugs, before walking off. 

"Not gonna explain, huh?" Hide murmurs to himself, before Kaneki emerges from the back room sans apron and now with a sling bag across his shoulder.

"Okay." he smiles, walking up to the human, "Ready?" 

"Yep!"

He offers Hide his arm. Touka snorts. Hide tries to keep hs face from going pink as he grins and takes Kaneki's arm before he bids them all goodbye.

°°°°°°°

"I've heard of her." Hide says, "Sen Takasa-Taka--"

"Takatsuki." Kaneki smiles.

"Yeah, that's it!" Hide says, "So she's your favorite author, huh? What kind of books does she write?"

"Psychological thrillers, mostly." Kaneki shrugs, before he asks, "So what about you? What do you like to do?"

Hide snorts, "Man, if only I could remember. These days I've been so occupied making up the nursery I hardly think about anything else."

Kaneki frowns, "Sounds tiring."

Hide shrugs as much as he can with their arms locked together, "It can be, but I'm okay. I'm not really good at sitting still anyway."

"Yeah, but still. You should take it a little easier then." Kaneki offers.

Hide grins, "What, you're worrying about me now?"

Kaneki goes a bit red as he stammers while Hide laughs at him, teasingly. What Kaneki really wants to say is 'yes'.

"But really," Hide says once they reach his place and Kaneki walks him to his door, "Thanks a lot for walking me home. That's super nice of you."

Kaneki tries to keep the heat out of his face, "No problem, thanks for the great conversation."

Hide gives him one of those smiles that makes his heart stutter in his chest before he steps into his place. Kaneki makes sure he's made it inside safely, then he makes his way to the roof to watch Hide for a few more hours.

Hide sticks to a routine, usually, and like every other night he takes his shower and Kaneki watches him dress, no shame in watching Hide night after night. 

He also has no shame when--long after he's laid in his own bed--he wraps a hand around himself, images of the human's naked body flashing through his mind. Kaneki comes quicker than he ever has.

The shame sets in afterwards. Kaneki falls asleep with his face burning.

°°°°°°

"Hey is Kaneki okay?" Hide asks Touka as she passes his table with a tray full of Americanos for a nearby table. Touka glances at him and gives him a quick, 'gimme one sec' before she serves the table and heads back to where Hide sits.

"Hey blondie, what's up?" she asks, plopping down in the seat next to his.

He smiles at the nickname before his face falls in concern again, "Is Kaneki okay? He's acting funny."

"Isn't he  _ always _ acting funny?" Touka asks, eyeing Kaneki from where he carefully pours hot water over some coffee grounds, purposefully not looking at either of them.

Touka knows that he's watching her and Hide from the corner of his eye.

"He's a weirdo." she finishes, smirking.

"He'll barely look at me today." Hide complains.

"He's not giving you enough attention, huh?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

Hide grumbles something before Touka decides to have mercy on him.

"Look, Kaneki likes you. More than you think." she sighs, exasperated and like she's praying for lighning to strike her because these idiots are so blind--, "And he probably thinks he's coming on too strong, so he's being an idiot and trying to be distant."

Hide blinks at her, "Well, he walked me home and is always talking to me. I would hope he likes me. I consider us friends."

Touka almost smashes her face right through the table. Boys are so dumb. They're so dense. Touka has never been more glad to be a lesbian. Yoriko was  _ never _ this completely  _ stupid _ .

She sighs and rises, "You'll get it soon I guess." she says, before walking off, leaving Hide confused. He watches her stride up to Kaneki, hiss something at him that makes Kaneki jump about ten feet in the air and pale considerably, and then walk off to take another order. 

Hide turns back to his hot chocolate when Kaneki glances at him, face going red. The ghoul takes a deep breath and approaches him. He feels like a nervous school child, and he doesn't know what to do about it. He can only try to get closer to Hide bit by bit and try not to push the human too hard in the meantime, and Kaneki decides that if he can't act normal afterwards he won't even think about Hide while his hands in his pants anymore. Kaneki needs to keep his head on straight, if he keeps being an awkward freak then he'll push Hide away and that's the last thing he wants.

"Is this seat taken?" Kaneki asks, and Hide looks up at him and smiles.

"Nope."

°°°°°°°

As soon as they start talking all of Kaneki's awkward feelings about the night before dissipate. The guilt of jerking off to the human melts away and Kaneki finds himself happily drifting back into Hide's orbit.

When Hide leaves after his lunch he says he's going over to one of the stores around the corner to commission and pick out some fabrics for a baby blanket, and if Kaneki was on his break soon maybe he wouldn't mind accompanying him?

Kaneki almost breaks his neck finding Yashimura and requesting his break right at that moment. The old man gives Kaneki a thoughtfully amused look and grants him what he wants, watching as Kaneki grabs his bag and rushes to meet Hide at the door. The human is talking to Touka again, and he gives Kaneki one of those bright smiles when he sees him.

"Ready?" Hide asks. Kaneki nods.

"That was quick." Touka teases, smirking. Kaneki goes red.

°°°°°°

"So, why a handmade blanket?" Kaneki asks.

Hide runs his hand over the fabrics on display in front of him, telling him about handmade blankets that stayed with children their whole childhoods, and then was passed down to their kids, and so forth.

The tradition of the blankets is true, but even Kaneki knows they're usually made by the babies' grandmother's or some other relative. Not at handmade shops. That's what makes them family keepsakes to be passed down.

Kaneki wonders. Does Hide not have any family to make his baby a blanket, so he chose to do this instead? 

Just how alone  _ is _ Hide?

Kaneki doesn't like the thought.

"It should be something bright, I think." Hide muses, running his hand over fabrics, "And soft so it won't irritate the baby's skin."

"It should be washable, too." Kaneki adds, walking alongside him.

He likes being next to Hide. It's his favorite place, currently. Right at his side.

Hide chuckles, "Good call." 

In the end Hide chooses a yellow, soft, plushy material Kaneki finds for him. Hide loves it.

"Thanks for your help." Hide grins at him, once they're done. Kaneki feels his heart twist.

"No problem, Hide."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have to beta later. I'm exhausted lol


	3. Chapter 3

He's shadowing Hide the next week--the blanket thing still in his head, nagging him--when Hide has lunch with the blond woman again. 

Kaneki is closer than last time, and he can actually catch bits of what they say this time.

He carefully watches how they interact--gauging Hide's body language and expressions--and he finds his suspicions confirmed. Hide trusts this woman, and seems to hold her in high regard. In fact, she's the only person Hide seems to want to see consistently, outside of Kaneki himself and everyone at Anteiku, where he goes basically every day. She buys him more food than he can handle, and Kaneki watches while she requests their waiter to put in multiple orders of what Hide asked for and put them in containers while Hide protests. She refuses to listen, shoving the food in Hide's arms when they leave.

Definitely an older sister figure.

The next day, Hide doesn't leave his apartment so Kaneki decides to shadow her instead. He'd love to watch Hide through the windows all day, but he needs to check that woman out. Make sure she's as safe as he wants her to be. He watches her slow down in front of children's toy stores and furniture shops for bassinets and cribs, looking in the windows. He follows her into a clothing store and watches her ice blue eyes roam over onesies and baby booties for almost forty straight minutes.

She doesn't strike Kaneki as maternal, and her abdomen is flat, so he can only assume she's looking for baby gifts for Hide.

And if she's doing that--

The thought strikes him like lightning that Kaneki almost gasps out loud. Maybe he can...push her into a certain direction...

He doubts she knows how to knit, so this could be difficult, but Kaneki will just consider it a challenge. For Hide.

°°°°°°°°

Kaneki finds a magazine with a baby swaddled in a homemade blanket on the cover along with a headline about knitting patterns and buys it (earning an odd look from the cashier, but he pays them no mind, his mind on his plan, gears turning) and catches up with tailing the blond woman, slyly putting the magazine with her mail when he follows her home.

Most of her windows are blacked out (smart woman) so he can only see into the living room the next day when she checks her mail and sees the magazine left by Kaneki. She looks at it for a while, icy eyes scanning the cover before she takes a seat and flips though it, brows furrowed in curiosity.

He leaves after that. A few days later he returns to check in on her and see if she's taken any more interest in what he's put in front of her, or if she'll need more prodding.

That's not the case.

Akira Mado sits in her living room with knitting needles, absorbed in trying to weave the threads together. He watches her struggle and backtrack, brows furrowed in frustration for a few hours. She makes mistakes and goes back to unknot and rectify them, her gaze unwavering and her face determined. Despite her struggling Kaneki knows he chose the right person for the job. She won't give up. She doesn't seem like the kind of woman to back down when something gets hard.

Kaneki decides she probably needs some help, though. Some instruction.

Hide _has_ to get a homemade blanket for his baby, and failure isn't an option. Kaneki has gotten whole gangs of ghouls in multiple wards to drop everything, pledge loyalty to Kaneki and follow him, so he should be able to do this, of all things, right? This should be nothing. Just a few simple mind games, some pursuasion.

The idea strikes him two nights later as he watches Hide towel dry his hair from his place on the roof.

He puts up some flyers for local knitting lessons he'd found online on her route to work. The next morning her eyes land on one, then another, before she's stopped and plucked the ad off the light pole, folding it up and putting it in her briefcase after she's read it. He notes the accomplished and relieved look on her face.

Good. Hide will get his blanket after all. 

°°°°°°°

He leaves her to her own devices after that. The next morning he spies knitting needles sticking out of her bag, and he knows she's got it from here.

He goes back to tailing Hide, and the day after Hide meets up with a tall, dark-haired man, who puts a hand on Hide's shoulder and softly insists on buying him lunch. Hide looks hesitant, and a bit wounded, and Kaneki finds his insides growing hot with anger and jealousy when Hide warily accepts, the man looking at him fondly.

Who the hell is this? _Why is he touching Hide?_

Why does Hide look so uncomfortable?

He keeps closer than usual, managing to stay out of sight. Hide lets the man escort him to an outdoor cafe, and he pulls out the seat for Hide, who goes pink and sits down. Hide is frowning, looking down at his hands.

The man starts talking and Hide goes redder, frown deepening. Kaneki swears. He wishes he could hear what they were saying. There's no way to get closer without exposing himself.

Hide leaves before they order. It's sudden, but he stands quickly and says something (and Kaneki can make out the strained look on the blond's face as he does) and turns on his heel, ignoring the man's calls of his name, and walks away. He turns the corner and the man tries to run after him, but Kaneki is quicker and intevenes then, moving deliberately to crash into him. He keeps his head down, apologizes in a low voice (the man hardly pays him any attention, too busy trying to recover those few precious seconds to catch up to Hide) and heads to where he saw Hide fleeing towards.

Anteiku.

Kaneki moves faster than Hide can, darting around the block and coming down the other way, 'accidentally' bumping into Hide while looking at his phone. It's all so much it almost makes his head spin, but he quickly rectifies himself, for Hide's sake.

"Oh--" Kaneki stammers, feigning surprise, "Hide--"

"Kaneki?" Hide asks, and Kaneki finally gets a good look at his face.

Hide's face is red and his cheeks are a bit wet, his eyes are soft and hurt and Kaneki feels protective anger well up inside his chest. His eyes go dark and narrow, anger potent.

"What happened? Who was it?" he asks, and Hide looks away, a hand flying to his hair. The blond shakes his head. 

"It's n-nothing." he says, softly. He sounds tired and weepy and Kaneki hates that look on his face. He looks dejected.

"Hide, your face is red and you're crying." Kaneki says, taking the man's hand, thumb coming up to wipe a tear from his face, "Someone did something. What was it. What happened."

It's not a question. It's a gentle but firm demand.

"It's just--can we go...somewhere?" Hide asks, panicked, "Somewhere not here? P-please?"

Kaneki grabs the human's hand and takes Hide to his place.

Kaneki likes his apartment, all in all. It was strange having to adjust to having a normal place when he came back to Anteiku after everything, but he adjusted somewhat alright, filling the space with books.

He wishes he'd have gotten a chance to clean a bit first, but it's not too bad, just some novels strewn about. Hide follows him quietly, and Kaneki gently bundles him onto the couch as Hide sniffles and looks at his hands. Kaneki gets started on tea for the human.

When he returns with a steaming mug Hide hardly looks up before he sniffles a soft, "Sorry."

Kaneki makes a gentle noise of protest, moving a little closer, "And what do you have to be sorry for?"

"You don't have to be this nice to me." Hide tells him.

"What if I want to?"

"Why would you want to? You barely know me."

Right, Hide doesn't know that, unbeknownst to him, they've spent a lot more time together than he knows. Kaneki has been following him for a while now.

"Because I want to get to know you." Kaneki says gently.

"Why?" Hide asks, sounding genuinely curious.

Kaneki decides to be somewhat truthful, "Something about you just...pulls me in. I--I like you. A lot."

Hide still looks at Kaneki like he's grown three heads, but he doesn't seem to have any more questions. Kaneki however, does. 

"Hide?" he asks softly, taking the other man's trembling hand, "What happened?"

The human says nothing, but the tears start up again, and Kaneki can see the embarrassment on Hide's face as the tears pour. Kaneki rushes to pull him close, to provide comfort and establish himself as a safe presence in Hide's vulnerable mind. Hide sniffles into his neck and Kaneki rubs his back with gentle hands, pulling the human close as possible. Hide is almost on his lap at this point, but it's not like he seems to notice.

Hide never does tell him who that man was, or what their relationship was, but he doesn't go to see him again.

Kaneki only refrains from hunting the man down and beating him senseless because he knows it would cause Hide distress if he found out.

He's no longer allowed to lay eyes on Hide though. 

°°°°°°

They fall asleep like that.

Then they _wake up like that,_ and Kaneki tries not to be too visibly thrilled that Hide spent the night (no matter how unintentional it was) and waits for the human to stir. Kaneki savors the feeling of Hide's body so close to his own, so warm, a comforting weight against him.

The human blinks awake slowly, confusion marring his features for a moment as he tries to remember where he is, and why nothing looks familiar.

Kaneki wonders if he should say something.

Hide blinks for a few seconds as he collects himself. The air in the apartment has gone cold, and Kaneki winces at the how chilly it's gotten.

"Morning, Hide." he says quietly, and though he doesn't want to, he starts gently moving Hide off of him, "I'll be right back, I have to fix the thermostat, okay?"

Hide doesn't say anything, but he sits up and rubs at his eyes. Kaneki rushes off to warm up the apartment. Hide shouldn't be cold. He kicks himself. He should have gotten up and checked during the night, it's just that something about having Hide close had him extremely reluctant to move.

"Sorry," Hide says when he gets back, "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

Kaneki waves him off, "It's not a problem, really. Are you feeling better?"

Hide nods with a smile. Kaneki knows he's lying.

They sit in silence for a bit, no sound other than the heater in the apartment clicking to life. 

"Hide? Can I...ask you something?" Kaneki asks, and Hide tenses before he nods.

"What happened?" the ghoul starts carefully, "Yesterday? You looked really upset."

Hide's shoulders go stiff and he rubs at his nose, blinking at the blanket in his lap. 

"I ran into someone I knew." Hide says slowly after a moment, "It...it doesn't matter."

"Hide--"

"I promise it's okay." Hide tells him, finally looking at him, "I'll be alright. Thanks for helping me though, I really couldn't stay there, but I probably couldn't have gotten away on my own."

Kaneki nods. He wishes Hide would tell him, but he won't force him or pester. That won't make Hide trust him. Kaneki just promises to keep a close eye on him to make sure that man comes nowhere near him ever again. As much as he liked having Hide in his arms, he won't stand for anyone making Hide's life more stressful than it already is.

"Okay, but...I'm h-here if..." Kaneki trails off, kicking himself. That sounded more reassuring in his head.

Hide grins, "I'll never figure out why you're so nice to me."

°°°°°°

Kaneki has work and insists on bringing Hide to Anteiku himself, not ready to give up Hide's company just yet.

Kaneki starts his shift and Hide has breakfast before leaving, telling Kaneki that he has some more preparation on the nursery to get done. The smile Hide gives him a bit more intimate, and Touka raises her eyebrows when she sees it in conjunction with Kaneki's expression. 

Kaneki watches him leave.

"Fuck you're in deep." Touka muses, before walking away.

He doesn't bother arguing. She's right.

°°°°°°°

After his shift he stops at the convenience store and then finds himself at Hide's door, knocking and hoping this doesn't come across as clingy or strange.

But Kaneki is both clingy _and_ strange, even more so after Yamori's torture, and now especially when it came to Hide. He can't quite help it. This has snowballed into borderline infatuation and Kaneki can't stop thinking about him, much less stop seeing him whenever he can.

"Kaneki?" Hide blinks at him as he opens the door.

Kaneki gives him a nervous smile and holds up the plastic bag, "I was passing by and uh, well you said you were doing the nursery today, so I though I'd stop by with some snacks and see if you needed any help."

Hide's eyes widen slightly, betraying his surprise. Then he smiles, and the sun comes out again.

"Come on in!"

°°°°°°

Hide's apartment is small but comfortable, boxes and packages scattered about. It's dark--no light currently on except for one in the kitchen--, and not very decorated, but it's clearly lived in. The television in a small living room is on but muted, and Kaneki thinks he faintly smells tea.

There's a rumpled blanket on a bright blue couch with a laptop open on it. Upon a closer look Kaneki can see that Hide was on several websites for baby clothes and furniture.

Kaneki can imagine him sitting on his small couch, wrapped in that blanket on that laptop, picking out things for his baby all by himself. It takes him a moment to realize that Hide has been saying something to him. Kaneki was so occupied taking in finally being in Hide's home, which he'd only seen from the roof a few buildings away.

Kaneki snaps back to attention.

"I wanna show you the nursery but it's a mess, gimme a few minutes?" the human asks, and Kaneki nods. He of course itches to help, but he gives Hide his space. 

Trying not to be creepy. Right.

"Okay," Hide grins, popping back into the room, "It's not as much of a wreck now."

He waves the ghoul over and Kaneki happily follows. 

The nursery is beautiful. It's yellow and pink with enough natural light to flood in and coat the room in a calming aura. The walls have a trim that looks like elephants marching along it, spanning all four walls all the way to the door. It looks like something out of a magazine.

Hide did all this? By himself?

"Hide, it's beautiful." Kaneki tells him, eyes on the shelves of plush toys. This is plenty more than a baby could need.

Hide grins sheepishly, "I guess I'm already spoiling them. I can't really help it."

"Nothing wrong with that. Do you know whether it's a boy or a girl yet?"

"Nope. I think I want to be surprised." the human says thoughtfully, "I might change my mind though."

Kaneki nods, "This nursery is adorable. Good job."

Hide grins, "Thanks!"

Kaneki looks around, "What else is there to do?"

"I need to put up the mobile for the crib and put in the new lights. A few more shelves. Also, a rocking chair. I need baby monitors too. And maybe more toys."

Kaneki chuckles, "I think your baby has plenty of toys, Hide."

"No kid ever has enough toys!" Hide protests.

°°°°°

"So what do you do?" Kaneki asks conversationally.

They're in the nursery, Hide handing Kaneki some shelves as the ghoul sets the nails in the wall and puts them up. Kaneki had to spend about thirty minutes convincing Hide to sit down and let Kaneki do it. Kaneki ditched his bag by the door and rolled up his sleeves, thankful--not for the first time--for his physical strength.

"Oh, I'm somewhat of a detective, I guess you could say." Hide smiles, clearly proud of himself, "I'm on leave, though."

"Sounds dangerous." Kaneki frowns, he picks up a nail and attempts to use the hammer before he mentally shrugs and shoves the nail through the wall with his bare hands instead. He shouldn't have done it, and he needs to be more careful what he does around Hide (and half the time Kaneki even forgets that he's supposed to be hiding from Hide, and keeping secrets from him, being around the blond just felt so natural) but for some reason he does it anyway.

"Well, it can be but- _-wow, you're strong_." Hide says, blinking at the nail buried in the wall.

Kaneki goes red and frowns, "Uh, yeah. I guess."

"You _guess_?" Hide asks, "You put that in the wall with barely any effort at all."

A nervous chuckle, "Ah, yeah."

Hide drops it though, Kaneki feels the tension leak out of his shoulders. He needs to be more careful. Right.

They finish putting the shelves up, and eventually they decide on a break, both of them migrating to Hide's kitchen.

Hide turns to him, "I'm sorry, I didn't offer you anything. Would you like some coffee?"

"Uh, I'd love some." Kaneki says, following Hide.

"Cool, I think I'll have some tea." Hide says, more to himself than Kaneki, before he picks up a box and grins, "Ms. Mado gave it to me." Hide says, "It's supposed to help with nausea and stress...or something like that.

"Ms. Mado?"

"She's a friend."

"Ah." Kaneki nods, before taking the package of tea from Hide, "You sit down, I can do it."

"You don't have to--"

"I want to."

"Kaneki, you don't have to take care of me." Hide says, voice going a touch softer.

Kaneki shoos him toward the couch, "Order your rocking chair. I'll make the tea."

Hide is forced to comply and finds himself quite literally dumped on the couch by Kaneki himself. He grumbles, but is happy to be off his feet. He didn't realize how tired he was, and he orders what he needs on his laptop while sneaking glances at Kaneki, who moves around Hide's small kitchen, invested in his task.

The blond tries not to stare, but once Kaneki strides over with a steaming mug in hand and a smile just for him he can't stop himself.

"Thanks." Hide smiles, hoping that the other man can't feel how his heart starts to pound.

"No problem. Did you finish what you needed to do?"

Hide nods, "Yeah."

Kaneki beams at him, "Good!"

Hide's heart almost gives out.

°°°°°°

Kaneki is leaving work when he sees it.

It's a stuffed sunflower with a smiley face on it.

Kaneki enters the store and asks for the plush in the window, watching as the attendant takes it off display for him and rings it up. He pays for it and leaves before he even thinks about it.

The next time he sees Hide he pulls him into one of the back rooms of Anteiku. Usually customers aren't allowed back there, but Kaneki makes an exception. The entire staff knows Hide now, so he doubts they'd mind either. He's proven right when Irimi passes by and just waves at them before entering the main shop without sparing either of them a thought.

"Kaneki, what is it?" Hide asks as Kaneki rummages around for the gift. He finds it and presents it.

"Oh, I saw this and thought you'd like it for the nursery." Kaneki says, handing Hide the bag.

He knows how the blond is going to protest, but he's gotten good at insisting. Hide opens it and looks inside, taking the plush out with shaking hands.

"Kaneki, you...you didn't have to." Hide says, an odd tone to his voice.

"I wanted to. I saw it and figured the baby would like it." Kaneki tells him.

Hide blinks away some wetness in his eyes, laughing nervously, "Sorry, hormones."

Kaneki shakes his head, "Don't apologize."

"It's perfect. Thanks, Kaneki." 

"No problem."


	4. Chapter 4

Hide gives him his phone number on a Saturday. Kaneki tries to suppress his triumphant grin, but he isn't sure he succeeds. Turns out that Hide just changed numbers, so that's the only reason he didn't get it before. At least Kaneki doesn't have to worry about whether he's doing anything wrong.

He contemplates texting Hide first, but he tries to think about it instead of just rushing and being desperate to speak to the blond. In the end he doesn't have to worry, because Hide texts him first. It's a picture of the plush Kaneki gave him, nestled in the baby's crib.

Kaneki stares unblinking at it for ten minutes.

Hide liked his gift enough to--not just stick it on a shelf--to put it in his baby's crib, the closest place to Hide's baby next to Hide himself. It never escaped Kaneki that--as afraid as Hide obviously is--he loves his baby more than anything.

Kaneki is just a bit honored is all, can anyone blame him?

He texts Hide to say so. The other man just sends him a smiley face.

°°°°°°

Kaneki is following Hide when he sees the blond meet up with another man who doesn't seem to be much older than Hide or himself. Kaneki decides immediately he doesn't like him. 

He doesn't like how the man slaps Hide on his shoulder. Who the hell even is this?

Kaneki watches from afar as they head inside a cafe--that isn't Anteiku, and Kaneki really doesn't like that either--and he watches Hide frown during bits of conversation and laugh during others, sipping on his drink.

Hide doesn't look too uncomfortable, but he still has that tension in his shoulders that makes Kaneki want to walk up and rid Hide of the man's presence. 

Kaneki watches with narrowed eyes. Who is this? 

Hide excuses himself early and leaves, not looking too much worse for wear but still slumping and frowning in his cab home.

The man looks slightly dejected at Hide's leaving, but he lets Hide go with no fuss. Kaneki notes his face and follows Hide.

°°°°°°°°

What Kaneki doesn't expect is the text Hide sends him soon after asking if he'd like to come over and watch a movie.

Kaneki--of course--accepts happily, but can tell that something is bothering Hide almost immediately after he arrives. The other boy is lost in his own head and while he tries to engage, Kaneki could still tell he's distracted and distressed.

"You okay?" Kaneki asks, a gentle hand on Hide's. His hand is soft, Kaneki has the strange urge to put those fingers in his mouth.

Ugh, the weird ghoul thoughts. He hasn't gotten used to the those yet.

Hide nods quickly, "Y-yeah, I'm--"

"Hide."

Kaneki looks at him, gaze trained on his face and his eyes dark. Hide knows this look by now. He's been getting it at varying intensities from Kaneki for months since they met. He won't appreciate Hide lying to him.

"I'm just a bit tired, that's all." Hide tries again, attempting to blow off Kaneki's concern. 

"Don't lie to me, Hide." The ghoul says.

And his voice changes--goes soft but firm and dark--and makes Hide look at the floor--tense. Because Kaneki isn't playing anymore, and Hide knows it. The ghoul has gone protective and somewhat aggressive simply because there's Hide, someone he cares about, upset right in front of him, and he has no idea what's happened.

(Well, he has an idea, but of course Hide doesn't know about the fact that Kaneki follows him when he can.)

Hide isn't stupid, he knows that Kaneki has this side of him, and Kaneki knows he knows. Kaneki also feels like Hide knows how often he tries to repress it as well, to no avail. 

Kaneki's pretty sure that Hide doesn't know he's a ghoul, but he probably has picked up on his possessive behaviors with how he acts when it comes to Hide. He's known Hide for a few months now, and he's able to reel in his possessive and protective nature less and less as time goes on.

Hide finally comes clean.

"When you found me and I was crying I--" Hide cuts himself off and looks away, "I had met up with one of the guys from my job. That was Amon. He uh, this is--it's...his baby. That meeting--well, he wanted to fix what he'd broken between us. That's why I was so upset. I rejected him."

"He...he wanted you back?" Kaneki says, being sure to keep his tone even and to not reveal how he claws and growls internally at that fact.

Something in Kaneki twists and goes burning hot. In a flash of a second he decides he hates this man. Amon. 

He's  _ trying to take Hide away from him _ . He thinks _ he deserves Hide _ and he wants to  _ snatch _ Kaneki's human  _ away _ and  _ touch _ him,  _ kiss _ him and  _ have their baby _ with him...

Kaneki almost growls. He'll never lay eyes on Hide ever again and the ghoul will make sure of it.

Hide goes pink and looks away, frowning.

"Part of me thinks I should have accepted him." Hide says thoughtfully, "This is his baby, after all. And they should know their father. I guess. I can't be all a kid has, right? Maybe I..maybe I shouldn't have turned him down--"

Now Hide is more thinking out loud and talking to himself more than Kaneki, but the ghoul almost peels his lips from his teeth and bares them at the thought of Hide running to any other man but him. The thought alone makes him so angry that his lower back begins to tingle, kagune itching to come out and defend what is his.

And  _ Hide _ ? Hide is  _ his _ .

"He hurt you. You weren't happy with him."

"I know, but--"

"He hurt you, Hide!" Kaneki pleads, still trying desperately to keep his emotions in check.

Hide blinks and looks down at his hands.

"I know. I don't know what to do."

"I can take care of him if you want. Get him to leave you alone." Kaneki offers. He's aware he sounds a bit eager to teach this guy a lesson, but he can't find it in himself to care. It's taking all his self control not to burst into a dangerous mix of his kakuja and rage. 

Kaneki wants to get his hands on this Amon guy. Really badly.

Hide looks at him, alarmed, "No, no it's fine. Really Kaneki, you don't have to do anything to him."

Kaneki frowns harder. Is Hide protecting him? Kaneki will have to fix that.

"Fine. But he made you upset and I'm not going to forget that." Kaneki grumbles quietly, glaring at the wall, looking away. Hide--in a flutter if amusement and affection-- notices that Kaneki is  _ sulking _ .

Kaneki adds "You can't be with him." after a moment.

Hide gives a look of slight shock and confusion.

"He hurt you. I won't let you go back."

The already quiet apartment goes nearly completely silent. A few different expressions cross Hide's face, but what he settles on is concern.

"I don't know what I'll do. But...but it would be  _ my _ decision." Hide says carefully, softly, "You know that, right Kaneki?"

Kaneki's hands clench into fists. Hide looks more troubled as more time goes on. The blond knew Kaneki had his control issues, but he's slowly starting to see how deep it ran.

"Kaneki?"

"I won't let you go back." The ghoul says again, voice quiet and dark.

"I can make my own decisions, Kaneki." Hide says, like he's trying to soothe a dangerous bear or lion. 

"I'm not letting him near you."

"You don't have to fix my problems, Kaneki." 

"He doesn't deserve you." 

Hide pauses, "What?"

"When you told him that you were pregnant what happened?" Kaneki asks suddenly, hoping the venom doesn't leak into his voice.

Hide hesitates, knowing the truth would make Kaneki furious.

"It wasn't really Amon's fault. It was a shock to him, I guess. We weren't together. Officially. I think I was just lonely. He wasn't...good for me, and I don't love him and I know he doesn't love me, but he liked me and I liked...that he liked me I suppose. I think I just wanted someone. He freaked out when I told him and I couldn't look him in the face after that. And then I changed numbers to get away from him." Hide manages a self-deprecating laugh, "Pretty pathetic, huh?"

"Not at all." Kaneki urges, brows furrowed, "Hide that's--"

"You don't have to." The blonde smiles, but Kaneki notes how saddened Hide begins to look, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to call you here so you can listen to my problems. I wanted us to watch a movie or something. Something fun."

"We can watch one later. I want to make sure you're okay." Kaneki urges, eyes going warm.

"We always talk about me. I'm fine." Hide says suddenly, "But what about you?"

Kaneki startles, "What do you mean?"

Hide shrugs, "You're always making sure I'm alright but you almost never say anything about yourself."

"There's not much to tell." Kaneki deadpans, looking away.

"You know about me--"

Kaneki interrupts to say, "Not a lot--"

"--but still something." Hide argues.

He doesn't look angry, neither of them do because neither of them are, but the conversation's tone has gotten more intense and they lean into each other as they speak, neither of their eyes leaving the other's face.

"You don't want to know."

"Yeah, I do." Hide says simply.

Kaneki kisses him.

He isn't sure why he chooses that moment (and it may be due to some possessive and aggressive anger at what Hide has told him), but he feels this urge to be so  _ close _ to Hide, suddenly, and he can't seem to shake the feeling long enough to think before he acts.

But Hide tastes like the sugar from his tea and he smells like orange and his lips are so soft (and a bit chapped, which for some reason Kaneki adores), that Kaneki immediately presses into the human's space and takes him around the waist, pulling him closer.

Hide shudders and tenses in his grasp before he shivers and relaxes, lips moving against Kaneki's as his hands grip the ghoul's shirt.

Hide feels perfect to Kaneki like this, in his arms being kissed breathless, fragile human body pressed close like he even subconsciously wants Kaneki wrapped around him.

Kaneki kisses him deep and soft, wet and gentle and everything Hide has ever wanted--

Hide breaks it and takes a breath. They stare at each other for a moment, the air charged with an energy neither of them can acknowledge right now.

Hide is breathing heavy, lips swollen and pink. Kaneki doesn't let go of his hold on the human. He's not sure he can.

"Kaneki--I...I want to, I just..." Hide trembles as Kaneki presses soft, wet kisses to his lips, "That kind of got me into this in the first place." he finishes with a nervous chuckle.

Kaneki doesn't stop kissing him, his lips, his cheeks, his nose, his chin. Lips press kisses to as much of Hide's skin as Kaneki can reach. 

Hide shivers in his hold, gripping his shirt and feeling Kaneki's affection move over him. It seems almost mindless, how Kaneki is grazing his lips over Hide's face. And Hide doesn't know what to do. No one's ever treated him like this before. No one ever handled him this sweetly or gently and he has no idea  _ how _ to react to it.

"I would never leave you." Kaneki breathes against Hide's heated skin as he presses a soft but deep kiss to Hide's left cheek. Kaneki says it with all the conviction in the world. And somehow, even with all his trust issues, loneliness and  _ fear _ Hide  _ believes _ him.

With his whole heart.

And that's terrifying. Hide lent his heart to someone before and it...didn't work out. It was disastrous. Even he will admit he bounces back fast, but Hide is still hurt and more than a bit damaged.

But God, he wants. He wants Kaneki and his gentle hands and his smile and his hair and how he rambles about books. How he can read Hide's fake smiles and how he forces Hide to slow down and accept help. How he drifts in and just makes things easier. He wants Kaneki so much more than he ever wanted anyone. Even Amon.

Hide moans and shivers in his arms and Kaneki thinks that maybe his whole life has lead up to this. And he's grateful.

"Wanted to do that for a while." Kaneki tells him once they part, breathing heavy with red faces. It's more of a thoughtful mumble than anything. Hide blinks at Kaneki and tries to sit up, though he doesn't seem to want to untangle from Kaneki (he's so warm and Hide doesn't want to let go) before he decides against it and settles against the ghoul once again.

Kaneki holds him closer, tightening his hold and pressing his lips to Hide's again, mind dazed off the feeling of Hide's lips on his own.

Finally.

They sit like that for the rest of the day. They kiss and taste each other deep, but they go no further, and Hide falls asleep on Kaneki not too long after.

The ghoul couldn't be happier. He watches Hide's sleeping face and remembers how perfect his mouth tastes.

°°°°°°°°°

"You still didn't tell me what he said when you told him you were pregnant." Kaneki says the day after, when they've woken up and Hide has lamented the fact that they never got to watch a movie.

The human blinks at him from the seat next to him, still wrapped up in the ghoul and blankets.

"Oh." Hide says, "Well, uh--"

The human shifts, uncomfortable again. He knows his words will just make Kaneki more angry and willing to find and fight Amon.

Hide knows Amon's strength. Kaneki's is a bit of an unknown quanitity. One of them could get seriously hurt, and Hide can't have that. Not for him. Not over him.

"It's not important--" Hide tries, and he knows it won't work, but he has to try at least.

"Hide."

Kaneki's voice is soft, but firm. No debating then. 

Hide knows what that tone means. Kaneki is using it more and more often to get what he wants, and Hide is slowly becoming more and more willing to give the ghoul what he demands. Kaneki is getting past Hide's defenses quicker than anyone has in a while, and Hide is not only terrified of the power Kaneki has over him, he also finds himself feeling safe because of it. 

It's confusing. 

Kaneki is strange-and pulsing with dark energy just under the surface of his skin that's begging to break free-and controlling, but he touches Hide with such gentle hands, and he kisses him so softly and tenderly. 

Kaneki cares about what Hide is going through. What Hide is thinking. He  _ cares _ how Hide  _ feels _ . 

Kaneki is so sweet to him, and Hide doesn't know why, but he knows he has the devotion of a very dangerous man. 

It's odd to think of Kaneki like that. Kaneki, with his white hair that hangs in his eyes and his love of books. The same boy who smiles at Hide so sweet, like he's the only one in the world--also gives off a feeling of bloodlust and darkness that Hide is almost afraid to ask about. 

Hide is maybe a little afraid of  _ Kaneki _ . And for some reason  _ that _ makes him want to curl up next to Kaneki and stay there forever.

And fuck, Hide  _ wants _ him, and he's afraid of exactly how much he wants him.

Maybe it's okay to want Kaneki as much as he does.

Hide bites his lips, watching Kaneki's eyes follow the movement. The ghoul's dark eyes are on Hide's lips, and they've clouded over in something that looks like  _ want _ . 

Lust.

'I affect him like this?' Hide wonders, watching Kaneki's eyes dilate.

Hide pushes the thought out of his head.

"He asked me whose it was. He thought I'd cheated because he'd been so careful." Hide says, looking away from Kaneki and toward the floor, "Uh, he yelled a little bit. Not at me I don't think, but uh, I was a bit... emotional that day, having just learned about the baby myself and I..didn't take him raising his voice at me very well. He really didn't think it was his."

"So he accused you of cheating on him, going behind his back, and then lying to him?" Kaneki asks, eyes sharpening. 

Hide frowns. He wants to say nothing, but that's exactly what happened.

Amon was... unreasonable. He'd been scared, Hide knew that, but for hours they'd argued and Hide had to keep defending his own words as Amon threw them back in his face over and over again. The man had demand to know who else Hide was sleeping with, and when he was told that there was no one, he'd gotten angry, talking about how reckless it is and how CCG investigators didn't have high mortality rates. 

_ 'Why bring a child into the world when you don't even know if you'll be there for it?' _ Amon had asked, face red and eyes hard.

He doesn't know if Amon necessarily meant this, but to Hide it sounded like he was being blamed, and the younger man lost it at that. After the whole thing Hide had left and hadn't spoken to him until the cafe that day.

"And then?"

Kaneki already looks ready to open a vessel, and Hide doesn't want to know what's going on in his head. The human is loathe to continue.

"When he finally believed me he told me that we'd get rid of it so it would be okay. He told me that in the car as he took me to a doctor." Hide tells him, "Drove me down to a clinic without telling me and everything. But I didn't want to. I wanted them. I wanted my baby, even if he didn't."

"He did  _ what _ ?" Kaneki snaps.

"I can't talk about this with you if you'll just get angry." Hide says, giving Kaneki a light smile.

Kaneki settles. It takes a few moments, but he does.

"Okay. Sorry."

"We had another argument in the car. He thought that I wanted that. The clinic, I mean." Hide says, "I think that's when I knew I didn't know him at all, and that he didn't know me either."

Kaneki thinks on what Hide has told him.

All he feels is the blinding red of anger at the thought of that man kissing Hide, pressing him into a bed and sinking into his body. 

Whoever this Amon is, he's touched Hide and heard the blond's moans and cries.

Kaneki hates that.

But he also knows that Hide had a life before him, and he doesn't need to let himself get weird and creepy in any way that makes Hide uncomfortable. Not for this. 

He already feels bad for being so stern and making Hide tell him what's on his mind. Kaneki had just been so worried and needed to help.

Kaneki has been letting himself slip lately.


	5. Chapter 5

"Can you feel it?" Hide smiles as Kaneki gently presses a hand to his stomach, rounded out and thudding against his palm.

The baby is kicking.

Kaneki's eyes widen, "Hide! Whoa!"

He presses closer, breath in his throat. Hide smiles. 

Kaneki looks so innocent and  _ cute _ like this, with that pure wonder on his face.

"Yep." Hide grins.

"Did it just start?" Kaneki asks, not moving his hand. The baby is active today, and has been kicking at Hide's insides all day, much to his discomfort. 

Well, at least Kaneki is happy. Hide however is getting to the point where he's having trouble standing up by himself or putting on his shoes. He's getting so big he doesn't know how to move. Everything he does is obstructed by his stomach and the fact that his feet and ankles hurt more and more and everything is starting to feel swollen doesn't help. He can't move and he feels useless if he can't run errands or do something. Plus he's hungry all the time.

He's also starting to feel the pulls of anxiety whenever he's reminded that in a few short months he'll be in charge of a whole person's existence. 

Hide realizes that he's  _ scared _ .

He doesn't say anything though. Kaneki would worry, and if Hide is good at anything, it's suffering in silence and covering it up with a smile. He's learned--put a bright and cheery expression on his face and no one looks deeper at what's underneath. That's how Hide got out of talking about his feelings for years.

Well, before Kaneki.

"Nah, it's happened a little bit before." Hide says, "They really respond to  _ you _ though."

Kaneki goes a bit pink in the face and smiles, "I hope they like me."

"Course they will! Why wouldn't they?" Hide says easily, like his word is law. 

Kaneki smiles, "I'm glad you think so."

°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Hide fails the whole suffering in silence thing. 

It's Kaneki's fault though. He's so perceptive that he figures out about Hide's constant discomfort startlingly fast, and Hide is left trying to tell a fussy Kaneki that no, Hide wasn't  _ hiding _ things from him he just...didn't say anything because Kaneki is such a  _ worrier _ .

Plus it's not like what he's going through a million people haven't gone through before.

Anyway, the point is that Kaneki becomes a helicopter--hovering around Hide and trying to gauge whether or not he's in pain. 

The human finds he doesn't mind the attention.

He minds Kaneki  _ worrying _ about him, the attention though? It makes his heart race and his face go warm.

Hide almost sighs. He's so backwards, lately.

What is Kaneki doing to him? Why does he never want it to stop?

And Hide realizes how lonely he'd felt all this time now that he's constantly with Kaneki, whether it's at Anteiku, Hide's place or Kaneki's. He's unused to  _ not _ being alone. Usually Hide wakes up to his silent apartment and goes out for the day to collect things for the nursery, but the point is that he's usually alone.

Now, usually when he wakes up it's to Kaneki rummaging around in the kitchen of whoever's place they'd fallen asleep at the night before (and Hide wonders when this happened. How he and Kaneki got so close so quickly, and how they got so comfortable with each other so quickly that they simply fall asleep in each other's presence without a thought, but honestly he's grateful for it) usually making himself some coffee and Hide some tea.

Kaneki used to wake up to silence and the air in his apartment frosty and cold. Now he wakes up to a warm apartment and his human nestled into his side, usually still deep asleep.

It's pretty new territory for them both, and they don't talk about what they are to each other, or what their relationship is exactly. They probably should, but Kaneki doesn't want to push Hide for fear of startling the human or marking himself as unsafe. He just didn't want to move too fast for him. He's lucky that him getting Hide to talk about Amon didn't make the human shut him out.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Kaneki wakes up before Hide, as usual. 

They're at his place this time, and Hide stirs when a thought strikes Kaneki's sleep addled mind.

Does he have any food for Hide at his house?

Fuck, he's such an idiot! How could he have forgotten that Hide is a human that needs to eat regularly?  _ Especially _ with the baby.

Kaneki groans quietly, he's lucky Hide didn't notice and ask about the lack of food at Kaneki's place. Bullet dodged. 

Kaneki gingerly leaves the bed and pulls on a hoodie, looking back at Hide. He's still asleep, his hair a mess and the blankets pooled around his chin. 

Kaneki makes sure he's warm before he slips out of the apartment.

°°°°°°°°°°°°

Hide is still in Kaneki's bed half asleep when Kaneki gets back. Kaneki sets the groceries down before he leans in the doorway and his gaze lands on the human, still dozing.

Hide's gotten a little bigger (which of course Kaneki doesn't mention) and his stomach is now fully and completely obvious at seven months. Kaneki knows Hide is insecure about how he looks now, even though he tries to hide it. 

Kaneki doesn't know why though. To him Hide looks perfect. His face has rounded out slightly and he has this glow about him that makes Kaneki want to curl around him and never let him go. Though how Hide smells is enough to do that on it's own. The human smells exceptionally alluring to Kaneki.

Kaneki throws his hoodie aside, approaching where Hide lays on his side, half asleep.

"You okay?" Kaneki murmurs quietly, trying to soothe Hide as he presses a hand to Hide's stomach and another to his forehead.

The human nods and squirms, "'M  _ fine _ . Worrier."

Kaneki smiles, "Anything to keep you safe."

"You're a sap." Hide tells him, burrowing deeper under blankets for warmth.

"Maybe."

"There's no  _ maybe _ ." Hide laughs. Kaneki fakes a put upon sigh and lifts the blankets, slipping into bed next to Hide. 

His arms move to wrap around the human's body and rest on his swollen stomach, rubbing small, soothing circles. He's seen Hide do it to soothe any pain the baby caused him. Kaneki isn't sure how much it helps, but he tries anyway.

It gets him a pleased whimper from Hide, so he's doing something right.

They lay like that for a while, until the sky outside the window goes sunny, showing that the day has officially started. Hide leans into Kaneki, enjoying the attention and Kaneki's hands on his skin. 

By the time Kaneki says anything (he presses a muffled 'are you okay?' into Hide's neck) Hide's almost panting, clutching him as the ghoul touches him and Kaneki knows that he has the hardest boner he has to make sure that Hide doesn't find out about. But fuck, Kaneki wants to just sink into Hide right now, and show him how much he cares. He could make Hide feel so, so good...

Hide speaks and Kaneki snaps himself out of it.

"I think I'm...scared." Hide says quietly in the dark, "The closer my due date gets I just...I'm worried. What if I can't do this?"

Kaneki takes a moment to collect himself and get his mind of out the lust-crazed gutter it's in. He can't fantasize about fucking Hide when the human is clearly distressed. Kaneki refuses to be that guy. Plus the overwhelming urge to protect Hide wins out against lust every time.

"I'm here with you too." Kaneki murmurs into blond hair, holding Hide tight, "You're not alone, and you're going to be a great father. You already are. I can tell you love them so much."

Hide is silent for a moment before he asks, "Why do you care so much? I'm just some random who popped into your store one day."

Kaneki manages a small laugh, "Well, maybe you just have an attractive presence."

Hide snorts a laugh, "Yeah, sure."

"I mean it."

"Whatever, man." Hide shoots back, and Kaneki can hear the smile in his voice as he curls into Kaneki and closes his eyes. Kaneki can't stop the smile that spread over his face at the sights of Hide wrapped in blankets and Kaneki, sleepy and content.

"Kaneki?" The human asks, drowsily.

"Hm?"

"Could you...could you continue what you were doing before?" Hide finishes, face pink though he wiggles further into Kaneki's hold.

This is what he wanted. What he always wanted. Hide in his grip, willingly nestling further into it, while asking Kaneki to touch him in that breathless sleepy whimper Kaneki loves so much.

Kaneki smiles, "Yeah, of course."

°°°°°°°°°°°°

Kaneki insists on walking Hide home again one late night as Anteiku closes, and when Kaneki runs to get his things Hide waits for him outside the restaurant, slipping out from under the gaze of Touka and Koma, blowing smoke rings in the icy air to amuse himself.

It's peaceful and quiet until the human is attacked and dragged into an alley by a ghoul Hide is sure he's never seen before. He probably should have figured that standing outside in the dark alone wasn't the best idea, but the smells in Anteiku were making his stomach turn a bit, and Kaneki never took long to retrieve his things anyway, so Hide thought maybe he was safe standing outside for at  _ least _ about five minutes. 

Apparently not. He's grabbed in front of the shop and then dragged into the alley behind it.

Hide screams and struggles frantically, but the man has a firm hold on his jacket, tugging the human into the darkness, his hands harsh and Hide trying not to trip on his own feet as he's dragged away--until the ghoul freezes so suddenly Hide almost crashes into him, face morphing in horror.

The ghoul tenses before he sniffs the air. Then whimpers and then smells  _ Hide _ .

"Wait-you! Y-you smell like--" he stammers, fingers immediately uncurling to release Hide like the human is suddenly poisonous, sending Hide crashing to the ground. He lands on his side. Hard.

"I-I'm sorry!" the ghoul shrieks, red eyes horrified, "I didn't know you were  _ his _ ! I didn't recognize the scent on you at first--I'm s-sorry!  _ Please _ don't tell him! I'll leave you alone forever! Just please don't tell the King--"

Hide tries to sit up, clutching his side and feeling something sticky and warm slide down his temple. He presses shaking fingers to it. Blood. How hard did he fall? Did he hit his head? He must have. Everything  _ hurts _ and he's freezing on the cold floor of some dirty alley with some ghoul screaming nonsense he doesn't understand. Snow is speeding through his jeans and he shivers, cold, injured and feeling quite sick on top of it all.

The ghoul screams and screeches in front of him, and Hide blinks, vision blurry from the impact of his fall and one arm cradling his stomach. He squints at the hysterical ghoul, mind sluggish before slowly he notices the presence next to him and familiar hands on him like they're searching for something, or checking if he's hurt.

Hide looks up.

It's  _ Kaneki _ , standing tall, a dark figure in the night. One of his eyes is a piercing red, and his usual overshirt is gone, revealing a bodysuit with the back cut out for the four kagune that sprout from his back.

Hide can't do anything but stare. It takes him another moment to realize that Kaneki's kagune is almost wrapped around him like a shield. Hide takes a shaky breath. He should try to stand, but after spending the day out and then this happening, he's so  _ tired _ . And he may have fallen a bit too hard. Plus his stomach turns at the foul smells that permeate the damp, dark alley. He still feels sick.

Kaneki looks down at Hide, eyes going soft in affection.

"Can you close your eyes for me?" he asks. 

Hide blinks up at him blearily.

"C-close my--?"

"I don't want you to see this." Kaneki smiles tenderly, "You deserve to be able to sleep tonight."

Hide looks at Kaneki for a moment, taking in the red eye and the blankly pleasant expression on his face. Hide  _ knows _ Kaneki is dangerous, he'd always known. Hide knows Kaneki is dangerous  _ right now. _

Hide finds himself trusting Kaneki completely. He closes his eyes.

Kaneki tears the ghoul apart. Then he  _ eats _ .

  
  


°°°°°°°°°°°

Kaneki only feels like a hero for about five seconds before blind panic sets in. Hide is  _ hurt _ . 

_ Hide knows what he is.  _

He can't let it take over right now, though. He needs to get Hide out of here. He needs to get the human somewhere  _ safe _ .

Kaneki doesn't bother trying to hide his kagune as he lifts Hide bridal style and uses them to dart up a building. He holds Hide close and inspects the human for damage when they're safely off the ground.

Hide's head is bleeding and he's simultaneously clutching his side and cradling his stomach, looking up at Kaneki with blurry eyes. He may have hit his head pretty hard, too. He's  _ bleeding _ and  _ freezing _ , labored puffs of breath visible in the chilly air.

He needs a hospital.

"So you finally show it to me." Hide says softly, blinking at the ghoul.

It takes Kaneki a moment to realize he means his eye. He gasps and hangs his head, attempting to hide it with his hair so the human doesn't see. He knows it's already too late. Kaneki isn't even sure why he tries.

"I already knew." Hide says, blinking at Kaneki, "It's okay."

"What?" Kaneki breathes.

"I know. I've always known." Hide mumbles, eyes almost slipping shut as his consciousness drifts, "Didn't wanna make you uncomfortable. Really like you."

"Hide--"

"I don't care. It's who you are and I  _ like _ who you are. Please stay. D-don't go." Hide murmurs, eyes finally slipping shut, "I don't care, Kaneki..."

Hide passes out in his arms and the ghoul panics, stopping to check Hide's breathing. The human's heartbeat is strong and steady, Hide is probably suffering from shock and probably some head trauma. Kaneki takes off in a run towards the nearest hospital he knows of, head spinning with fear and livid anger that he wasn't quick enough to stop the attack before it started. If he can't protect Hide then what fucking good  _ is _ he?

And then there's the hope that blooms in his chest, and he wonders if Hide really meant it.

Did he really not care? Is Kaneki--as a ghoul--going to be able to have Hide? Hide  _ accepts _ him?

It sounds too good to be true. Kaneki always thought he hid what he was rather well. Most people never looked twice at him if he didn't want them to. A leftover talent from his life as a human. But Hide'd known. This whole time. Hide figured it out all on his own.

But that's not important now. He needs to get Hide some help. He can agonize over this later.

Kaneki tries to keep himself in control as he rushes through the emergency room double doors, cradling his unconscious human in his arms.

Doctors descend on them, especially when they see that Hide is pregnant in addition to sporting a bleeding head wound on top of unconsciousness. They fuss and ask a thousand questions too quickly, and Kaneki has to try to make it look like a mugging instead of a ghoul attack while hiding his own identity from the frazzled staff who fight to take Hide away from him.

"Sir, you have to let him go so we can help him." the nurse snaps at him. Kaneki fights the urge to tighten his grip.

Kaneki finally snaps back to his senses. He pushes down the instinct to tear into anyone who tries to touch Hide and urges himself to let the doctors look at him. That's what he brought him here for. Though Kaneki really hates hospitals now. 

Who can blame him really? He was wheeled into a hospital a human and left a ghoul, his life changed, complicated forever.

He won't let anything like that happen to Hide. He'll kill and eat everyone here first.

"Fine, but I need to be there." Kaneki says, voice dark and sharp and leaving no room for argument. 

The nurse looks him in the eyes and balks. Nodding.

He lets them have Hide, following behind the gurney quickly, eyes on Hide's unconscious form and the doctors.

If they so much as  _ look _ at Hide funny--

Hide is fine, bandaged and receiving fluids via IV within the hour.

The hospital room is dark and quiet, save for the beeping of the machines and the staff moving around outside the closed door. Kaneki pulls up a chair by Hide's bed. They want him to stay for the night, just to be sure he's okay. Kaneki can take him home in the morning, but he needs to keep an eye on him. Hide has a few cracked ribs and a mild concussion.

Kaneki gently runs hands over Hide once the nurse leaves, doing his own inspection for injuries. He's sure the doctor hasn't missed anything but it doesn't hurt to be sure, he thinks.

Then he sits back down in the chair next to Hide's bed, guilt and rage settling over him as he looks at his human's still form, hooked up to machines and paler than he's ever seen him.

He's never letting him out of his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've been so out of it with the virus stuff and all that. I hope you're all safe.

**Author's Note:**

> I uploaded this a few years ago before I deleted my account, so here it is again!


End file.
